I've been sick lately, which means I've had more time on my hands than usual. And with that time comes something I've noticed creeping in—something I'm not proud of but need to talk about: envy.
I think there's something about spending too much time on social media that triggers negative emotions. Jealousy. Envy. Maybe we use those words interchangeably, but whatever you call it, it's there. During this break, I've found myself scrolling through Instagram for ungodly amounts of time, and I've started to notice a pattern in how I react to what I see.
Someone posts about a win - a nice dress, a celebration, a new opportunity, a picture with a supposed celebrity. And instead of feeling happy for them, or even just indifferent, I find myself downplaying it in my mind. "It's probably not that deep." "They're exaggerating." "They're doing too much." "Just showing off."
And then I catch myself. What's wrong with you, John?
I think there's something about having too much idle time, about not being actively engaged in your own life, that opens the door for these emotions. When you're busy—genuinely busy, actively working toward something, living healthily—you're more generous with others. You don't have the mental space to tear people down in your head because you're focused on building yourself up.
But when you're stuck in that scroll loop, seeing hundreds, maybe thousands of people's highlight reels, something shifts. You start feeling like everyone's winning and you're losing. You forget that no one posts their health struggles, their money problems, the things they're fixing in the background. You only see the polished version.
Now, whether people are faking their lives or being authentic—that's not even the point. The point is this: if you find yourself being triggered, if you notice that scrolling makes you feel worse instead of better, that's your signal. Maybe it's not normal to be exposed to this many people's lives all at once. Maybe our brains weren't designed for this. Maybe the psychologists working at these companies know exactly what they're doing when they engineer these platforms to keep us hooked.
So what do you do when you catch yourself in that trap?
You have to intentionally work against it. Step back. Take a break from social media. When you see someone winning, force yourself to drop a congratulations message and move on with your day. Reengineer the process before it engineers you.
Because once you fall into that trap, it doesn't just stay on your phone. It seeps into how you think about yourself, your life, your progress. It makes you unhappy. And the crazy part? It's all based on incomplete information—curated snapshots that tell you nothing about the full story.
This is human. The envy, the comparison—it's normal. But it has to be caught. It has to be controlled. Otherwise, you end up a victim of an algorithm designed to keep you feeling just unsatisfied enough to keep scrolling.
So maybe this is your reminder, and mine: when you notice the feeling, name it. Catch yourself. And then do something about it.